Wow...

Sen. Barbara Boxer (D - California) compares a prescription for Viagra to getting an abortion.

I don't think "stupid whore" even scratches the surface of what I think about this. I think in most good Catholic countries, she'd be dead by now. But beyond that...how does this kind of thinking look good compared to a Republican..any Republican.

Jizz Mop of the Month for December

I know...I'm late again.

Miss December: Avy Scott

Super Hottie

She does it all.

Current events...

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/africa/12/03/somalia.attacks/index.html

Health and Education Ministers murdered?!!! Future doctors murdered?!! WTF?!?!?! What?....it was in Somalia?....oh...who cares then.

These make me laugh.

HA! Senator's daughter car jacked in D.C.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/12/04/senator.carjacking/index.html

HA! HA! Model dies after plastic surgery (on her ass!)

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/americas/12/01/argentina.model.death/index.html

HA HA HAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! RUN ALBINOS! RUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/africa/11/29/tanzania.albinos/index.html

fuck off
Nutty

NPR sux0rz my ass

God, sometimes NPR fucking lights my fuse.

The other day:

This twit, Dawn Turner, who works for the Chicago Tribune, was on Talk of the Nation and thinks anybody who tries to make themselves look black, mask, make-up, whatever, is wearing "black-face." WTF? Really? So the guy who does Obama on SNL is in black-face, someone in a Michael Jackson mask is in black-face? Send her an email and tell her she's a moron, if you're a racist like I must be (I sent her an email to discuss the issue, must be too busy being a journalist to write me back).

Then today:

They were talking about the extinction of the big mammals or animals or whatever in North America (there was a black bear sized beaver at some point apparently - fucking awesome!), you know...the ones everybody else thinks got wiped out by climate change or the fucking gigantic meteor. Well anyway....some bitch (might have been a dude too, but I just remember the ho) on there today said it wasn't any of that shit, but it was "man" who killed them all. Of course! Man is to fucking blame, we do everything evil for all time. So the 40,000 or so men that were around back then (I'm making this number up, I have no idea, but it wasn't 3 billion) just decided to go on a fucking homicidal rampage and kill everything bigger than a dog just for the fuck of it. And in the course of like 200 years or something. Right! That makes perfect sense. Total extinction of all large animals and we did it with fucking sticks! We are the fucking coolest bad ass mother fucking kung-fu animal killers. YEs.!

On an unrelated subject...look at this chick's ass.

I made a bumper sticker

Ask Nutty Flashback #2 (for BPEP)

Nutty X,

What is your favorite sexual position & why?

Pee Pie
Cincinnati, Ohio

Dear Pee Pie,

I was going to answer your question with a simple yet Nuttyesque analogy, such as "Who cares where the doormat sits, as long as you can wipe your feet on it?", but I'm a kinder, gentler Nutty X these days so I took some time to answer your question properly.

I don't know what the Kama Sutra calls it, but my favorite sexual position is called the "Champion Position". The Champion Position was named, as far as I know, by a college friend of mine, we'll call him Derrick. Anyway, Derrick named it so because he said you had to be a champion to pull it off. While I truly AM, a champion, Derrick may have been exaggerating the prowess required to acomplish proficient sex in this position. However, I do enjoy it and it's variations. I'll get to those shortly.

The Champion Position is classified as such. The whore, lies on the ground, bed or whatever, not so much on her back, as on her neck. With her legs pointing back behind her head, the champion stands, firmly on his feet, above and facing her, and fires his flesh torpedo straight DOWN into her excellently exposed fuck hole. There's no fumbling for it here. With the flowering quimm in plain sight, even the most clumsy of lovers should be able to hit the mark on the first try. Eventual satisfaction is achieved as the champion repeatedly penetrates the gash in an up and down fashion, much like doing squats at the gym. The erect penis'natural inclination to point away from the body requires a hand to keep things on track at times, but also provides for maximum
friction against the anterior wall of the slut's twat. (see figure 1.)

Variations of the "Champion Position" include; the "Reverse Champion" (figure 2.), and the "Sideways Champion" (figure 3.).

Also a variant of the "Champion Position", is the "Houston Oiler", named by yours truly. The Houston Oiler is exactly the same as the Champion, with the exception that penetraton is of the cornhole. The champion stands over the butt slut and proceeds to drill her for oil. (figures 4. & 5.)

Why my favorite? Well, with a tramp in such a position, all holes are easily accessable and there's not a lot she can do about anything.  I could be boring out her box and decide I need some brown. With one quick motion, boo-yah! the helmet is on and I'm an oil man! Ready to blow but want to paint her face? No problem. Take a quick step forward then squat. Jackpot! The ho's face and mouth are right there. Start suckin' tart! Cum on her face, tits, whatever. It's all right there when you're a champion.

A quick note for beginers. Unless your target is a tried and true stunt slut, you may want to try this first with her up against a couch or something. It'll help keep her in the proper position. Plus, when you're done, the couch is right there.

Take a nap champion. You've earned it!

Well, hope that answers your question sufficiently Pee Pie. By the way, what the fuck does Pee Pie mean? You into urine or shit pies or something? That's just gross. Although, I guess in a reverse Champion or Houston Oiler, it would be possible to take a dump on you. Hmmmm. Probably something that should be investigated. Good luck with that. Maybe the next time I'm in Cincinnati, you'll update me on your progress. Or, just suck me off. That'd be alright too.

Best wishes,

Nutty X

Jizz Mop of the Month (part B)

Miss November: Ashlyn Gere

(one of Nutty's all time favs)

Since I'm behind and shit, it's already the 11th, I'll put up an oldie for the short month.

Good luck finding the good shit. You pretty much have to pay to find her stuff any more. By the way, she's about 50 now, and still makes a few movies I think. She looked good in the last one I saw.

Jizz Mop of the Month (part A)

I guess I need a historical record of these hos... So:

Miss October: Bobbi Starr

(she likes them big and in the butt)

http://www.myspace.com/_bobbistarr

Yeah....right.

As I child, I think I believed in the Nobel Prize. It stood for something more. As I grew to realize that all things were influenced and controlled by politics and ulterior motives, I lost faith in the Nobel Prize winners as true champions of peace. Well thank you Norwegian Nobel Committee for driving the final nail in the coffin. You have invalidated every previous winner with this flawed and misguided selection. To the plus, that includes two world class douche bags, Jimmy Carter and Al Gore, whose selections were equally bogus but not quite as laughable as this. Well done.

(Our Savior)

(Dead Afghans Civilians)

By the way...I am fucking shocked that the Olympic committee passed up Chicago. Didn't they know who they were dealing with?

Meanwhile, Samoans are dead.

YES!

Periodically I hit the net looking for people I used to know etc. Sure, I'm a stalker...whatever.

Anyway:

http://foreclosure.pterrywave.com/Lexington/Appraisal.aspx?sysid=5718

...ex-girlfriend (and he's a doctor)

- I'm so petty

My first time

I know you pros out there will think this is a hack job (which it is), but it's my first go at dick insertion.

Man, something unnatural about the look of that dudes tube.

Cock Face

Main Entry: cock face
Part of Speech: n
Definition: a countenance that indicates the desire for a penis to be placed in it's proximity, so as to facilitate the immediate fellatio of said penis.

Synonyms:
1. Cock mouth, fuck me face, blow job lips, clown's mouth.

I keep seeing this L'Oreal commercial on TV with Linda Evangelista in it. For a large portion of it, she is making this face that I can only describe as above, "cock face." It's characteristics are a dull kind of 100 yard stare with an open mouth, not just slightly pursed lips, but a more open mouth, but not totally agape either. This isn't a new look, but Linda Evangelista seems to excel at it. The picture below kinda does it, but you really have to see the commercial for the full effect. Keep your eyes peeled.

Anyway, the net result is that you get the impression that she is saying to you, "Hey guy, hey random dude out there in TV land. I want you to jam your fucking cock in my mouth so I can suck you off right here on national TV."

Which is all great and stuff, except that unless you have somewheres to jam your cock, you're gonna end up riding the fap train.

So long Brown-man, until we meet again.

Samson (3/5/1996 - 9/13/2009)

The Dilbert Hole

This is old shit, but it reminds me of me at work:

New Editor

yes.

new editor has strikethrough.

fuckin' weirdos

I raided some dude's image cache just now. Wow. Lots of photo shopped cat pictures (gay) and wannabe demotivator posters in some strange language (e.g. pcture of toad in pancakes with text 'what are you doing toad. you are a toad. you can not stand in pancakes. you look silly'). wtf is that? Is that some esoteric 4chan junk? I found this .gif disturbing (I guess I don't know enough about image shit, this is actually a .jpeg, but saves as a .gif. It's fucking queer anyway. I guess I don't really need it in plain view):

http://www.roflronjon.net/images/Other/LOL.jpg

And then there's this:

http://www.roflronjon.net/images/Other/jizzgif.gif

There was some o.k. shit, but mostly weird and gay. Here's the link to the cache:

http://www.roflronjon.net/images/Other/

... and to dude's "hideout":

http://www.roflronjon.net/

I proclain him homo. If you know this guy, well, you're prolly gay too.

There was this series of photos. A couple of them stumped me long enough. The guy pissing is a classic, I think the others are just bullshit.

And what the fuck is a "troll" and/or "trolling"???

So much to talk about...

I've been really busy, had some work stuff take me out of town, minor house stuff turned into semi-major, all kinds of shit.



Oh shit...I feel a shout out coming on:

HOLLA! (is it getting warm in here?)

A big thank you to Juan Carolos Esperanza di Santos Steven Gerome Pananen @ http://www.geekempirehosting.com/ . You can now get here via http://www.asknutty.com/ .



People keep dying. Like this guy:

CNN says he was somebody. I disagree.

Then there's this dude who's not dead:

YOU LIE!!!

Did anyone catch the puss that Pelosi made right after he said that? I swear to god, if I were standing right there, I would have kicked her pussy clear through her asshole.


I give Representative Wilson the "Ask Nutty / Glengarry Glen Ross Brass Balls Award."

FUCK YOU! THAT'S MY NAME!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TROhlThs9qY

And then there's our savior, Obama.

You know, this guy is really just another putz. I got into a semi lively debate elsewhere about this speech in the schools thing. People were pulling out Youtube clips of Ronald Reagan going deep on the kids with some heavy indoctrination. So other presidents did it. Whoopdie do. To me, this has just made it obvious that for all his talk about change, dude has zero clout and can't pull off the simplest of tasks without a shit storm behind it.

Now he wants to ramp up our presence in Afghanistan. Come on. Seriously? The differences between Bush and Obama, Iraq and Afghanistan are starting to blur. What the fuck are we doing? What the fuck is he doing? "Well...I fucked up the U.S. pretty good with spending a gazillion dollars on shitty car companies and bad mortgages. Guess my recovery plan kinda sucked it. Can't really seem to get folks into a health care reform. Maybe it's a bad time and all, since people that have managed to hang on to decent insurance are scared shitless they'll end up like the poor saps that already lost theirs (again, due to my fucked up recovery plan). I need a fuckin' win here. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. What? We're fighting a war. No shit?! Well ya, I'll try to win that shit. Wonder how we're gonna do that...."

Maybe it's not cool to heckle the guy during a speech, but it looks like that's where we're at. The kid gloves came off a long time ago (monkey Bush, impeached Clinton, conned Bush (no new taxes), forgetful Reagan (Iran-Contra), back-doored Carter (hostage crisis), etc. etc. etc. Somehow, everyone else managed to do something. This guy needs to get on track.

And for the record, I would have yelled "SUCK IT!"

I loves me some Bush.

I won't lie, I really liked G.W. Bush. It really infuriated me to watch a whole country (most at least) turn their backs on a president who I personally feel did something positive for each and every American. At one time you turn coats liked him:

Anyway, that's not why I'm writing now. Y'all can hate if you like.

But, I found certain things totally reprehensible. This picture for example:

Ha ha. George Bush is a monkey. Great. Well turn about is fair play, pay back is a bitch, etc.

LET THE FUCKING PUBLIC OUTCRY BEGIN!!!!!

p.s. Kayne West hates black people (ponder that!)

Bitchy wives revive consumerism.

So I'm in Lowe's getting some stuff and I see this dude who used to live on block back in the day. I don't know him all that well, but that's really irrelevant. I asked the normal questions, 'What's up?", "Where you living?", etc. I look in his cart and it's pretty well full. He catches me looking at it and says, "I don't need any of this shit. I just needed to get out of the house."

Why was I in Lowe's you ask... no comment. Maybe someones friend is in town.

I'm predicting good consumer confidence numbers for September.

Hi! Do you own a Prius?

My name is Nutty. Please bring your Prius over to my house so I CAN SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKING FAGGOT ASS!

And you're gay if you like those commercials. Fucking tree hugging queers.

Maybe this will straighten you out:

*** 9/5/2009 - Apparently, that is a Honda Insight above, not a Prius. O.K., I made a mistake. Regardless, I can still fit it up your ass.

'We were lured into a trap'

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/09/02/journalists.ordeal/index.html

Yeeeeeeeah...no. You were stupid. That should teach you to mind your business next time bitches.

This whole story reeks of bullshit. They were working for Al Gore. Come on, dude doesn't do shit without a media stunt (It's his fucking forte). And in the article these poor, poor girls mention some things that happened are still too painful to talk about. If anyone believes for a second that these two were kept anywhere short of a 4 star hotel, you're a fucking moron.

STUPID DUMB CUNTS

What ever happened to....

..."C.A.R.E." and "Save the Children" and shit like that???

I never see those horrid commercials anymore. Did Sally Struthers eat all the children?

She was kinda hot back in the day. Here's a picture of her tit. Oh yeah, and Jack.

I wonder if Meat Head ever put the wood to her in real life.

I'm guessing yes.

Now Archie, that was some real "reality T.V."

Jizz Mop of the Month

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

News 5 sandwhich

Gimmie a bottle of Beam, a tube of Astroglide®, then throw me in the middle of these three hos.

I love the natural progression

I'm all A.D.D. and shit so this makes me happy:

the arrogance

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/08/29/kennedy.funeral/index.html

This just in:

"Shortly before his death, Sen. Edward M. Kennedy wrote a letter to Pope Benedict XVI asking for the pontiff to pray for him as he struggled with an aggressive form of brain cancer, it was revealed at his graveside service Saturday evening."

Seriously? The Pope??? Your local priest wasn't enough? The Arch Bishop of your diocese? Not even a Cardinal? You went straight to the Pope you arrogant fuck. Exactly what I was talking about before. http://asknutty.blogspot.com/2009/08/later-ted.html

I'm sure it'll come out that he and the Pope were tight and shit. You know, from all the time Ted spent in Germany and at the Vatican.

Come on, give me a fucking break.

Celebrity Death Watch

I guess there's a few versions of this out there (here's two):

http://www.deathlist.net/

http://www.stiffs.com/

Seems like a lot of famous people are dropping dead lately. The rate may be the same, maybe just higher profile deaths. I don't know, just seems like a lot. Anyway, here's my picks for the next 5!

TV:

BUM BUM! (theme from Law & Order ya know)

TD Ameri-DEAD!!!

SPORTS:

Enjoy gardening in Shangri-La

(or wherever the fuck Zen masters go).

I was actually going to put M.J. but Phil seems like a better choice.

MUSIC:

He's bringing dead back!!!

This is my big upset pick. Such a shame when talent is lost too soon.

NEWS:

I do hate this dude, but he's really fucking old and is probably going to die soon.

I shouldn't hate him though. Before I started listening to him, I would never have publicly defamed or insulted a sitting president. Thanks for showing me that it's o.k. Danny.

HOLLYWOOD:

Even though most of you pukes probably know him better from TV, he'll always be Capt. Willard to me.

NEVER GET OUT OF THE BOAT MARTY!

(my first pick was really Clint Eastwood, but it seemed unthinkable.)