Ask Nutty Flashback #1

Dear Mr. Nutty,

What is the proper way (your way) to buff one's nads to get that nice brilliant sheen.

Love,
Double D
Cincinnati, Ohio



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Dear Double D,

Wow! Great question! I'm so glad you asked. Proper genitalcare is becoming a lost art these days (what with the resurgenceof all those dirty little peace loving hippies and what not.)Anyway, I like to... Hey! Wait a minute! Did you send this tome from your work? You mother fucker! Sure, I send the replyback to your office, and next thing you know, you and fuckin'Carl Lindner are making millions off my nut buffing recipe. Tell fuckin' Carl if he wants to shine something, he should shine some fuckin' bananas by sticking them up his ass!!!!! And you... go shine your Star Wars Emperor dolls.

Dick!!!!!

Nutty X

Automotive Asshole

Dear Nutty,

I'm confused about the current 'bailout' of the 'big three' 'automakers'. Should we be giving them more money if they don't have a plan to make it back? Why is Congress pondering this more than they pondered bailing out the banks? Is this all the fault of the unions?

Thanks,
Henry Turd
Detroit, MI


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Dear Turd,

How's about you worry about something a little more on your level, like making sure the food gets into your mouth, staying warm, or finding a safe place to sleep? Darwin was right, except that in our pussified society, dumb fucks like you survive way past your due.

What kind of asshole lives in Detroit? That city, that state, died 30 years ago. Anyone with any sense left way back then. We should give the state of Michigan to Canada (of course, if the French weren't such pussy fags, they'd have won it back in the 18th century). Or better yet, we'll rename it North Mexico and move all the wets up there to fuck it up some more.

Just for the record, the answers are:

- "No."
- "They're idiots and scum bags"
- "No"

Thanks for the question fuck stick. Try not to get eaten by something bigger than you.

- Nutty

I'm back.

I know everything. Send questions, get answers. Life's mysteries revealed mother fuckers.

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